A year ago last night, I was pepper sprayed by a police officer at Sidewinders in downtown Roanoke.
What does this have to do with finding love? I’ll explain.
It was Halloween. I’d spent part of that summer in the hospital with necrotizing fasciitis, and I was ready to feel alive in my body again. So my friend Mage Marigold and I put on costumes (I was Mother Nature), drank a truly irresponsible amount of tequila, and went dancing. At some point I kissed a guy in a banana costume. It was that kind of night.
Then my face was on fire.
An officer had sprayed to break up a fight I never even saw. Mage got it in the mouth. I got it full in the face. I spent the rest of the night pouring bottles of water over my eyes, and my skin burned for more than twelve hours.
The next day, one year ago today, I met someone.
A year of love, in two chapters
I’ve had a lot of chaos in my life, and that night was a pretty good summary of it. He was the opposite. Calm. Stable. I just wanted to get off the roller coaster and breathe, and with him I could. For the first time in a long time, I knew what safety actually felt like in my body.
It lasted about four months. We didn’t align on some core things. And here’s the funny part: once you know what safety feels like, you also know exactly when it’s gone.
Then in March, I started seeing someone new. And y’all. Alignment. Peace. Fun, so much fun. And the thing I’d been writing about for years without really knowing what it looked like: co-creation. Two people building a life, and building things in the world, together.
What a year of love taught me
Know what love feels like in your body. Not on paper. Not in your head. In your body. That’s your best compass.
Some people you learn from. Some people you grow with. Both are gifts. Only one of them is your person.
The right love makes room for your whole life. Your people, your work, your dreams. It doesn’t compete with them. It brings them closer.
Why I’m starting Blue Ridge Love
Since I moved to these mountains, I keep meeting people in the same in-between. Newly divorced. New to town. Kids just left home. Coming out of a long relationship and not sure how any of this works anymore. Ready to love again, with no idea where to start.
And most of us are trying to find each other on apps built for speed. A face, three facts, swipe. I don’t think that’s how grown people in the middle of a life change find each other. We need more time, more context, and more real rooms with real humans in them.
I’ve spent years walking with people through life transitions as a Transition Doula, and love is one of the biggest ones. This year alone, I’ve witnessed more than a dozen marriages, and I never get tired of watching two people find their way to each other.
So here we are.
What you’ll find in this newsletter
Real stories about finding love, keeping it, and starting over. Including mine, as it happens.
Conversations with local people who think about love for a living, like matchmakers, therapists, and couples who’ve figured something out.
Date My Friend. In each issue, I’ll introduce one wonderful single person from our community, nominated by someone who loves them.
Epic local date ideas. The best places in and around Roanoke to fall in love, or fall in love all over again.
Your questions, answered honestly.
And eventually, gatherings. Dinners, experiences, and slower ways to meet people in person.
Two ways to help me get this off the ground
Subscribe, and forward this to the friend who keeps saying they’re done with the apps.
Nominate someone for Date My Friend. Know someone single and wonderful in the Roanoke region? Hit reply (or use this form) and tell me about them: who they are, what makes them great, and what they’re looking for. (Ask them first. Nobody gets featured without saying yes.)
A year ago I was standing in a bar with my eyes on fire. I had no idea who I’d meet the next day, or everything that year of love would teach me. You never know what’s around the corner.
Let’s find out together.
Sarah
Omg! I love this so much 🫶